Everyday day in my life
I may be one of those lucky few who is not besieged with ten calls a day from call centres, trying to sell a credit card, a personal loan or for that matter Club-Mahindra holidays. Either Reliance India Mobile hasn’t gotten around to selling its database or I am just plain lucky.
Nevertheless, that does not mean I do not get any calls. Due to the nature of my job, I get lots of calls from public relations professionals (or I am wondering if you have two minutes types). And this is how a typical call goes:
Trin Trin
Me: Hello…
Caller: Hi. This is Shafalica calling from Next Generation Image Management ( Image Management, Peter Drucker must be turning in his grave). Is that Vivek?
Me (in a rather bored voice): Ji. Boliye.
Shafalica: I was wondering whether you had two minutes? (For the uninitiated wondering is the most oft used word by Public Relations and Corporate Communication Professionals. They seem to wonder about everything when they interact with journalists. Now what has her wondering got to do with me having two minutes, you’ll have to ask her)
Me: Yes, Mam. Tell me. (now trying not to sound bored)
Shafalica: We have this client called Rose Wealth Management (Management again. Drucker must be back to original position now, since he must have turned again). There CEO Mr Vishal Mansukhani would like to contribute to your newspaper. (Contribute is another favourite with PR guys. What does it mean? When I was new to the profession, I even tried telling some PR guys that if their client wants to contribute to the newspaper he should be talking to my CFO and not me.)
Me: What does he want to contribute?
Shafalica: I was wondering (phir se) if you would be interested in an article from his side. ( Now that gets me interested. An article, written by somebody else. So that means less work for one day. And more than that since he is a corporate guy, he won’t charge. Bole to, free. So suddenly, we are talking ‘win-win’ management here)
Me: Hmmm. An article. So what does he want to write on?
Shafalica: I was wondering (Ok. I won’t count this one) if you had any ideas on what he could contribute on? (This is where the communication breaks down, totally. If I have an idea, wouldn’t I rather write it myself, than give it to another person to work on? Those who write on a regular basis will understand that figuring out what to write is the most difficult part. Writing it out is much easier. This is a simple thing that most PR professional who handle financial institutions (coz those are the ones I largely deal with) don’t seem to understand. More than that if the person they are trying to sell to me, doesn’t even have a clue on what he wants to write, what sort of an expert is he supposed to be? And even if he doesn’t have any idea, I am sure, the PR professional, can do some research on her own, and can come up with a few ideas. Or the idea is simply to get their piece and photograph into the newspaper. In this day and age, jo dikhta hai wo bikta hai, so content doesn’t really matter. And I really mean this. I had rejected an article a few months back because it was plagiarised and a couple of days back, I saw the same article published in another newspaper, which has got editions all across India. Or is it just a case of laziness. Since most human beings are lazy (including me) we would like others to do your work.)
Me: No. I don’t have any ideas (And even if I had, why should I give them to you. I am tempted to scream. But I don’t)
Shafalica (now at a loss of words. Given that she will now have to think): Hmmm. Let me talk to Mr Manshukhani, and ask him what he is comfortable writing on and then get back to you.
Me: Sure.
Shafalica: Bye.
Me: Bye.
Nevertheless, that does not mean I do not get any calls. Due to the nature of my job, I get lots of calls from public relations professionals (or I am wondering if you have two minutes types). And this is how a typical call goes:
Trin Trin
Me: Hello…
Caller: Hi. This is Shafalica calling from Next Generation Image Management ( Image Management, Peter Drucker must be turning in his grave). Is that Vivek?
Me (in a rather bored voice): Ji. Boliye.
Shafalica: I was wondering whether you had two minutes? (For the uninitiated wondering is the most oft used word by Public Relations and Corporate Communication Professionals. They seem to wonder about everything when they interact with journalists. Now what has her wondering got to do with me having two minutes, you’ll have to ask her)
Me: Yes, Mam. Tell me. (now trying not to sound bored)
Shafalica: We have this client called Rose Wealth Management (Management again. Drucker must be back to original position now, since he must have turned again). There CEO Mr Vishal Mansukhani would like to contribute to your newspaper. (Contribute is another favourite with PR guys. What does it mean? When I was new to the profession, I even tried telling some PR guys that if their client wants to contribute to the newspaper he should be talking to my CFO and not me.)
Me: What does he want to contribute?
Shafalica: I was wondering (phir se) if you would be interested in an article from his side. ( Now that gets me interested. An article, written by somebody else. So that means less work for one day. And more than that since he is a corporate guy, he won’t charge. Bole to, free. So suddenly, we are talking ‘win-win’ management here)
Me: Hmmm. An article. So what does he want to write on?
Shafalica: I was wondering (Ok. I won’t count this one) if you had any ideas on what he could contribute on? (This is where the communication breaks down, totally. If I have an idea, wouldn’t I rather write it myself, than give it to another person to work on? Those who write on a regular basis will understand that figuring out what to write is the most difficult part. Writing it out is much easier. This is a simple thing that most PR professional who handle financial institutions (coz those are the ones I largely deal with) don’t seem to understand. More than that if the person they are trying to sell to me, doesn’t even have a clue on what he wants to write, what sort of an expert is he supposed to be? And even if he doesn’t have any idea, I am sure, the PR professional, can do some research on her own, and can come up with a few ideas. Or the idea is simply to get their piece and photograph into the newspaper. In this day and age, jo dikhta hai wo bikta hai, so content doesn’t really matter. And I really mean this. I had rejected an article a few months back because it was plagiarised and a couple of days back, I saw the same article published in another newspaper, which has got editions all across India. Or is it just a case of laziness. Since most human beings are lazy (including me) we would like others to do your work.)
Me: No. I don’t have any ideas (And even if I had, why should I give them to you. I am tempted to scream. But I don’t)
Shafalica (now at a loss of words. Given that she will now have to think): Hmmm. Let me talk to Mr Manshukhani, and ask him what he is comfortable writing on and then get back to you.
Me: Sure.
Shafalica: Bye.
Me: Bye.
posted by Vivek at 2:08 AM
4 Comments:
that was a laugh!! next time, you should also start wondering along with them. "I was wondering why you are wondering if i have two minutes" might not be a bad way to start! but i don't blame these PR callers, sometimes they are rather useful - not in a way you'd expect though. on lazy afternoons, when you are sleepy after a heavy meal, talking to them for a few minutes — boring them in return, or even pre-emptive boring before they could bore you — helps one to stay awake.....
But don't the PR agencies ghost-write these articles anyways? Or is it some poor trainee in Mr Mansukhani's office?
If u think writing for a publication with a ciruculation of nearly one tenth of the highest circulation financial daily of the nation makes u god for PR professionals… then u are highly mistaken. Ppl like you make our job easier… coz we then know whom we need not call for assistance to make their jobs easier! PR professionals CAN make do without their clients articles not being published in papers hardly read… we rather invest our time in better channel.
Cross your heart and tell if you have not ever taken any 'CONTRIBUTORY ARTICLES' from any corporates/their PR agencies……? U cant as I …a PR consultant am a witness more than a couple of times whr u have…!
As far as ur 'wondering' is concerned just a thought, what can a PR professional do even if his client does write an article on his own and the journalist says "get me something else, this is not what i was wondering abt whn u wondered!!!"
I think you and people from DNA like belittling PR professionals. I have, on more than one occassion, seen articles on DNA reporters' blogs making fun of PR professionals.
I think its time you people acknowledged the fact that we make your life a lot easier when you need to connect with top people from various institutions. It is we, who do all the hard work in getting them to meet you, sometimes even when they dont want to.
So, the next time you are offered a meeting with the CEO of this or that major corporate, and you breeze in to meet them, thank us in your heart, even if you dont do it personally or with a phone call!
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